Yesterday afternoonwe went to a play group organized by some ladies in my new ward.  I’ve never been to a swimming pool playgroup before, but apparently someone in the ward volunteered their backyard pool and once a week a bunch of women and their kids get together to go swimming!

I LOVE swimming.  Not that I do much actual swimming with two non-swimming toddlers in the pool with me, but I got to be in the water for a while and it was great.  I’ve never done any competitive swimming, except I once won a trophy in a water ballet competition when I was a teenager, and I’m not an impressively strong swimmer, but it just feels good to be light in the cool water and stretch my limbs as I move.

We almost didn’t make it to the play group.  There’s always a lot of uncertainty about whether I’ll feel well enough to go anywhere at any time, especially if I have to be the only adult in charge of both kids, so the whole outing was tentative in the first place.  As Colin left for work, he said “Go swimming at all costs!”  Sounds a little extreme, but it was strangely encouraging for me as I thought about it all day every time I came up with an excuse to not go.  By the time it was time to leave, I was feeling pretty good, so I decided to get everyone in the car and give it a try.

The official word was that the activity was to go from 2-4, and at 2:06 I had gotten me, the kids, three towels, three sets of swim suits and sandals, and two blow-up floating toys in the car.  As I drove away from the house, I realized that none of us had eaten in a couple of hours.  I didn’t want to have my kids asking the hostess for a snack, and I don’t do well when I get hungry, so I decided to drop by Taco Bell on my way to the pool.  Almost to Taco Bell, I realized that I’d forgotten to take my anti-nausea medicine at noon, and if I waited any longer I’d be in big trouble that evening.  So, we stopped at Taco Bell for a snack, then turned around to go back to the house for my medicine.  When I finally got us back on the road, it was 2:45, but I figured we could still get a good 45 minutes of swimming in even though we’d be late.

When we finally arrived at the correct house, I took the kids to the front door and let Degen ring the bell.  No answer.  I wondered if the party was over.  Luckily, I had the phone number of the woman who’d invited me and called her up on my cell phone that was nearly out of batteries (that reminds me, I need to charge my phone)–and she answered!  She said that it wasn’t too late to come, and that no one was in the house and to come around the side of the house and down to the pool.  Just then, another mom with a bunch of kids drove up and showed me where to go.

But, I had to go back to the car for the swimming gear.  As I pulled it out of the trunk, Degen accidentally pushed Maggie off the sidewalk and into the gutter, resulting in a skinned knee and hurt feelings.  So, I held Maggie, my purse, a bag of swimming suits, three towels, and Degen’s hand as we walked down the steep steps to the pool.  Degen held the two floating toys and was an awesome helper.  We made it!

When we finally got in the pool, both Degen and Maggie insisted that they wanted to get out.  I insisted that they stay in!  After a couple of minutes of getting used to the temperature of the water, I let Degen get out so he could observe what the other kids were doing in the water–he’s always had a tough time with swimming pools and I thought that if he got to watch for a while he’d warm up to the idea.  Maggie generally loves the water, so when she said she wanted out I just told her no and let her cling to me.  Degen later found someone’s small boogie-board thingy and suddenly loved the water!  He let me float him around the pool as he kicked as long as he got to hold on to the boogie board.  I think that might be the magical tool to get him to be willing to practice swimming, and one of the ladies said they’re really cheap at Target, so I think I’m going to pick one up.  Maggie pretty much relaxed and enjoyed herself, though I was surprised that she never really wanted to splash in the water and wanted me to hold her the whole time. Oh well, it’ll just take some time to get used to.

Swimming was great, but meeting some other women and beginning the process of making friends was really good for me.  Pretty much everyone was friendly, and we began exchanging “life stories.”  It’d been at least a month since I’d spent any time casually with anyone my own age outside my family, and I think I needed that.  You think that’s why Colin wanted me to go “at all costs”?  Hmmm…

We actually got here a couple of weeks ago, but I haven’t had constant access to a computer like I’m used to until today.  The truck arrived yesterday, and was unloaded by Colin and some generous men from our new Elder’s Quorum and my sister-in-law’s very helpful boyfriend.  Thanks sooooo much to everyone who helped!  It would have taken days for us to unpack the truck ourselves, since considering my lack of energy at the moment it would have been a one-man job laying squarely on Colin’s shoulders.  On the truck was the power cord to our computer.  We’d brought the computer in the car with us, and I thought we’d taken the power cord too and was beginning to be very concerned that the cord had fallen down the storm drain at Phoebe’s house when we stopped there in Plano.  To our great relief, we’d just accidentally put it on the truck.  Whew!  So, now I can blog again unhindered (except by morning sickness and my two toddlers).

I must mention how wonderful everyone in North Little Rock was before we left there.  Several women in our ward helped me finish cleaning and packing, and we had a big crew of men who saved us at least $400 (maybe more) with their superior tetris skills as they packed the truck.  Thank you so so so much!

Did we like our moving company?  Yes!  It’s the second time we’ve used ABF U-Pack and everything went pretty much according to plan.  I really, really like ABF and recommend them to anyone who is planning an interstate move (or otherwise, I just haven’t used them for an intrastate move, and I’m pretty sure they don’t go international).  The drivers and dispatchers and customer service people were helpful and friendly.  We could track where the truck was at all times by phone or computer.  Our stuff arrived untouched from the time we put up the bulkhead barrier, though our packing method did leave one item damaged beyond repair (I knew I should have freecycled that rocking chair!).  At least it was one of those things I don’t feel bad about losing, and it had nothing to do with the trucking company.  I really like that you pay by the linear foot with ABF, which meant that although we reserved 21 feet of the truck, when we used only 19 feet we only paid for what we used.

Our road trip was really relaxed and pleasant.  The kids were good the entire way, believe it or not.  We went at a slower pace than normal for us, and took a longer route so that we could visit some of the areas Colin lived and served in on his mission in Texas.  We both loved Bastrop, TX, especially.  It was fun for me to see the places I’d heard about so often, but it was even more fun for me to watch Colin remember things and wax nostalgic as we drove through the towns he’d worked in.  He told me about his old companions and families he’d taught and we stopped at a couple of the ward buildings in his areas and took some pictures.  We went to church in one of the ward buildings, though we didn’t get there in time to go to any of the wards he’d served in.  We saw the San Antonio Texas temple.  It was a great, though long, Sunday trip.

We spent another day and a half driving to Phoenix, because yes, Texas really is that big.  We stopped and spent a day at my parents house in Phoenix and got to see one of my aunts and some of my cousins.  We also saw one of my great uncles while we were there.  A busy day, but very fun!  It’s always refreshing for me to spend time with my family at “home.”  Ironically, they were in the process of packing and moving to Kingman, AZ, while we were there.  Practically everyone in my family moved this Spring!

We pushed the rest of the way to California the next day, pretty uneventfully until we were 20 minutes from the house.  Colin, desciribing the geography as we went, mentioned as we passed through Oakland and into Richmond that much of the violence and ghetto reputation of Oakland is really mostly a Richmond problem now.  Neither of us realized that we had to pay a $4 toll on the Richmond bridge to get home, and when we got there and figured out we had only $1.25 in cash on us, we decided to turn around and try to find an ATM (at 10:30pm) to get some cash instead of getting a ticket.  By this time the kids were sick of being in the car, I had to go to the bathroom, and we were almost out of gas.  But how hard could it be to find an ATM in a big city, right?  Well, we got a little lost and couldn’t find a residential area or a bank or a gas station for about 45 minutes, and when we did it was in the most frightening part of any town I’ve ever been to.  There were people searching the dumpsters, people walking around aimlessly in strang flowing robes, and a lot of frightened, hungry looking people who looked at me like I shouldn’t be there.  Colin went inside the gas station to see if there was an ATM there and to ask for directions while I waited with the mostly-sleeping kids in the car.  He came back cashless and saying they wouldn’t take his card for gas.  The man at the cash register had given him cryptic directions to “go down that street and don’t stop for ANY reason” to get to the freeway.  We were nervous about that, so Colin chose a different, parallel street to go down thinking he could just jog over to the correct one at the last minute, but we ended up going in circles past the same gas station twice (once there was a big fire in the middle of the road and we had to take another detour around the police and fire trucks) as I prayed silently to get home safely.  Finally, we took the gas station man’s directions and got to the freeway, getting a ticket when we crossed the bridge.  But at least we could stop for gas and a bathroom at a safe gas station on the other side!  Fifteen minutes later we got home and put the kids in bed, safe and sound, prayers answered.

We got to be here to celebrate Deborah and Mark’s marriage, and to meet Mark, which was really cool.  Mark seems like a great guy and we wish them the best with their new life together in New Zealand.  They flew away with Ben (Deb’s son) last week and we’ll see them again at Christmas time.

I’m still feeling really sick most of the time, but we’re in a comfortable house in perfect-weather Novato with wonderful family around to help with the kids and everything else.  Our financial situation is steadily improving, with bills getting caught up nearly every day now.  I can hardly allow myself to believe it enough to be relieved and grateful, but it’s starting to sink in.  Colin seems to be doing really well at work and is happily doing projects of all kinds both at work and at home.

The kids are settling in and LOVING having access to grandparents all the time.  Degen and Dick spent part of this morning watering the garden outside, which soon transformed into a delightful spray-Degen-with-the-hose-as-he-runs-by game.  Both Degen and Maggie love going outside on the deck pretty much every day to listen to the cows in the pasture at the bottom of the hill mooing.  Maggie calls Sonja “Pama,” which Sonja likes better than “grandma.”

That was a long post, but I had a lot of ground to cover.  We’re here!

If I had any energy right now, I’d be cleaning some more or putting clothes in suitcases and boxes.  I’ve mentioned before that some ladies in my ward were helping me out (in addition to my wonderful sisters), and today my visiting teacher really came through for me and cleaned both bathrooms top-to-bottom.  Since I can hardly stand my own scent at the moment, the thought of getting down on the not-too-dirty floor and mopping thoroughly was unbearable.  Thank you Leigh!  And yesterday one of my Primary counselors came over with lunch and cleaned my crusty oven and stove.  Thank you Leah!  I’m telling you, these Arkansan women are awesome.

In our typical style, we’re still not sure of the route we’re taking to California.  We talked over a few options this morning and I’m fairly certain we’re starting with a stop in Dallas at my sister’s new house.  Happy day!

In the process of sorting and packing we found an old bottle of my anti-nausea drug from my last pregnancy, and I found that if I take a quarter dose I can function without being too miserable most of the time.  I’m petitioning my doctor here (via phone) to prescribe me some more for the trip, but haven’t heard back from his nurse yet this morning.  What I have handy enabled me to enjoy a long, giggly, chatty night out with both sisters on Friday night (thanks for dinner, girls, and thanks for watching the kids Colin!).  On Saturday, Phoebe took me to get my hair cut, and I really feel like a new person.  What I thought would be an awful drudgery has really been relatively painless so far.  I am so, so, so blessed to have sisters who took the time and the expense to fly out here and take care of me and my family while I’m having trouble.  They even went through my cupboards and figured out a menu of meals I could make without gagging (hopefully) with ingredients we already have.

There’s something about having my sisters around that just lets me calm down and get things done at whatever pace I can without being self-conscious.  I didn’t have to worry about them rolling their eyes at my dirty floors, since they already know how I am that way and like me anyway.  I didn’t have to worry about whether they would pack things in a way that was intelligible for me, or about whether they would understand my packing system, because we all learned to pack from our mom and have similar packing styles.  I knew they’d enjoy playing with the kids when I took a nap, and it wouldn’t annoy them.  Anything weird I do they already know about, and often do themselves.  Yay sisters!

Another thing that is helping me to be optimistic about our move this week is our wonderful church family here.  The sisters of the Relief Society in our ward have volunteered to come over the day before the move and help with dinner, babysitting, last-minute packing, and final cleaning.  I cannot believe how totally supportive they are–it’s truly inspirational.  And the Priesthood of our ward, including members of the bishopric, will be coming over on Saturday to load the truck.  I guess Bishop decided he’s over his silent-treatment phase of trying to get us to stay.   This may actually happen, and I’m so grateful for the help everyone is giving us in the process.

My mother-in-law is already helping me find a doctor in California and had diapers for Maggie and Degen ready to go when we get there.  They’ve already done so much to prepare for our arrival–even down to improving the safety of the deck for the little ones so they can play outside.  I’m excited to see the family there and settle in.  It will be so nice for the kids to get to know the family better, too.  And the glorious weather of Marin County!  No more tornadoes, anyway.

Yesterday Colin shared his testimony during Fast & Testimony meeting at church–I love hearing him share his feelings and thoughts about the gospel.  He talked about how we all need to have an “addiction” to feeling the Spirit, and to getting personal revelation, and that’s the only way we’ll be able to know how to do what will bring us happiness in the long run.  I went to my last Ward Council in this ward and everyone said very kind things to me about my time in Primary.  I gave my last Sharing Time in Primary and waved goodbye to the kids quickly as I bolted out the door to chase a couple of runaway little ones down the hallway.  I handed over my keys to the new Primary president.  The Primary staff gave me a card they’d all signed and that I haven’t read yet for fear of crying, but I’m sure I’ll love once I have the emotional fortitude to believe I’m actually leaving.

I’m still not sure why the Lord sent us to Arkansas, but I think it partly had something to do with my Primary calling here.  I discovered weaknesses I didn’t know I had and parts of my heart and mind were opened that weren’t there before.  I usually felt capable and happy in my calling, which has rarely happened to me in past callings, but when I felt inadequate I felt TOTALLY inadequate and had to rely entirely on the Lord.  My calling helped me to be happy when nothing else could.  I’m grateful to the Lord for trusting me with this calling and to the ward for sustaining me in it.  I will miss it and I will miss them.  I wonder what I’ll be called to do in my next ward…

On the bright side, I’m feeling a lot better today.  I’ve had some energy and have been able to get some cleaning done.  Plus, at least one of my sisters is flying out this weekend to help me clean and pack.  I am so grateful to have such supportive siblings!  I’ve talked to two storage places near our new California home and pretty much gotten permission to go ahead with leaving the trailer for a weekend at each of them once I reserve a storage unit.  I’ve chosen a moving company (ABF U-Pack) and priced how much it would cost to pay truck unloaders to help us in case the Elder’s Quorum there isn’t big enough to have people available to help out when we need them. ABF is the moving company we used last time, and although some of our stuff was damaged in-transit, I totally blame our method of packing the truck.  The truck drivers were friendly, helpful, and on-time.  The customer service people on the phone were also very professional and helpful, and answered every question I had before, during, and after the trip.  They knew exactly where our truck was in-transit and since we paid them nothing until the shipment was delivered, I didn’t worry about whether they would show up at the destination or not.  It all went perfectly.

Yesterday Colin Freecycled a ton of our stuff.  We gave away our old brown couch that was falling apart, the baby swing that almost certainly wouldn’t make it through another cross-country summertime move, a broken lamp, our old DVD player that only worked 10% of the time over the last year, a couple of column-esque candle holders that I’ve never figured out how to work into a decorating scheme (especially since we very rarely use candles), our fake Christmas tree, a huge garbage can, and some other odds and ends.  I feel so free!  Colin packed up a bunch of our books, movies, and CDs, and our bookshelves are nearly empty.  I’ve thrown away bags and bags of “stuff” and still have more to go.  I really, really hope we can keep the space we use on the trailer this time down instead of using the whole thing.

It looks like we’re moving to California!  We’ve been working on figuring out what to do job-wise when the school year ends for a while now, and last week Colin’s parents asked him to work at their print shop in MIll Valley, CA.  They also generously offered to let us live with them for a few months while we adjust (cost of living is seriously something to adjust to there), and this week we decided to take them up on their offer.

The plan is to move the first week of June.  I’ve got a truck lined up and we’ll load it up the Friday/Saturday of Colin’s last week of work, then we’ll have them drive away.  ABF U-Pack still seems like the safest and most economical way to go, and we had a great experience with them on our trip out here, so they’re our moving company again. This is all happening really fast and I’ve hardly had a chance to catch my breath, but it’s pretty exciting!

Moving will be a challenge, especially since we’ve only got a month to prepare.  Luckily (or not), most of our stuff is still packed up in boxes, and I’ve saved most of our empty boxes from the last move in our “storage room,” so this move shouldn’t take nearly as long to pack for as our last one.  Since most of our stuff will be in storage for a long time, I’m negotiating with Colin over giving away/throwing away a lot of our stuff.  I like to de-clutter and Colin is a bit more of a pack-rat who can’t think of why we’d get rid of anything we might ever want to use again.   I only want to store anything I’ll miss six months later.  So we’ll see how it goes.  We pay the trucking company by the linear foot of space on the truck, so Colin is more open to chucking than normal.  We’re definitely sending some toys to Goodwill, so if any of my local friends are interested in some toys let me know and I’ll give you first dibs.

Speaking of local friends, we are going to miss you!  I had to email my bishopric and tell them I’m moving and they’ll have to find a new Primary president and I felt odd about that.  I can’t stand the idea of leaving my one counselor who isn’t currently in the hospital to run the Primary alone.  She’s a very capable, industrious, willing woman, but doing it all by myself would be a nightmare.  Luckily we’ve got lots of awesome adults in our Primary to help out until the presidency is reorganized–my secretary, the music director, the pianist, and all the teachers.  I’m already sad to miss all the things we’ve been planning and all the kids…Too sad, I’m not going to talk about that more right now.

I’m really grateful to have a good relationship with my in-laws.  Colin’s parents are great people and we get along well, and I’m always so happy to have to opt-out on in-law horror story conversations.  Hopefully we won’t mess that up by living together!  I guess we’ll just have to be really flexible and have good ground rules and cross our fingers.  Hey, there’s potential for us to have an even closer relationship because of this, too.  It’ll be nice for the kids to get to know their grandparents and other California relatives better.  And Marin is beautiful and green and has perfect weather…and I might “get” to feel my first earthquake (small ones only, please).  We’ll be lots closer to my family, too.  We’ll only be 10 hours away instead of our current 24+.  Yay!

My roses are blooming.  There are salmon ones, white ones, pink ones, and red ones.  They are beautiful!  And my vegetable garden is coming along nicely, too.  Whomever moves in here will get some good broccoli and cauliflower and onions.

I freecycled a bunch of stuff today, including our huge wooden TV that we've been using as an entertainment center (to hold our regular TV).  It was so nice to give away my "junk" to someone who think's they'll use it.  We've got the office half packed, the kids' room 90% packed, the basement 75% packed, the guest room 90% packed, my room half packed, the bathrooms pretty much finished except mine, and the kitchen is about 15% of the way there.  And Colin has the boxes stacked neatly in the garage, which has yet to be packed.  I'd say we're doing pretty well, thanks to my wonderful neighbors who've been helping out by watching the kids while we work.  I'm going to miss this neighborhood and my friends here when we move.

Speaking of moving, the moving truck gets here on Wednesday and we load it Thursday and drive away on Friday.  Colin is supposed to start at the school on the 18th.  No, we don't have a place to live yet.  Still working on that…

My parents are coming to stay with us this weekend!  They're coming to meet Phoebe's future in-laws.  Did I mention that Phoebe's getting married?  In August. In Phoenix.  And I'm the Matron of Honor!  She's marrying a guy named Jon whom everyone in our family likes (at least everyone who's met him).  I'm really excited for her.  Anyway, Mom and Dad are going to meet Jon's parents and then they're going to spend the rest of the weekend helping me pack!  I just can't say how excited I am to have them here.

We have a big weekend because Deb, Colin's sister, is going to spend the night with us on Saturday, too.  She's flying in for a conference for work and we get to have her over while she's in town.  Wow, there's a lot going on in the next week.  It's going to be fun!

Yesterday we had to let everyone at church know that we're moving.  Colin calls it "breaking up" with our friends.  It does feel like that because, although we'll still be friends from a distance, we're leaving and it won't be the same.  It looks like flag day is about the time we'll take off for Little Rock, and we're excited about the adventure of it all, but we're going to miss the nurturing of our awesome Orem neighborhood. 

Going to the Geneva Branch always makes me think about how mortal I am and reminds me of how generally inexperienced I am compared to these people who will die any time.  We sang mostly funeral-appropriate hymns today, I noticed.  I wonder if that's what they always sing.  Being old does not mean being valueless.  In fact, today I saw quite the contrary, and if I'd had the time I would have like to sit down and get some advice from one of the many people there I think would have a better perspective than me on my life and what I should be worrying about and not worrying about. 

It also made me appreciate how death is really not a big deal in the scheme of things.  The feeling I got today was that death is just like moving away (probably came to mind since we're getting ready to move soon) without email or long distance.  Families can be together forever, and that's what it's all about.  These old people will die soon, and then a few years/months/days/hours later we'll follow them in death and all get together and have a reunion and a big happy party.  Only there won't be the worries about being fat or people not remembering you that there are with high school reunions.  Just because people die doesn't mean they cease to exist or that they're lost to us.  It's just like moving away for a while.

So, ask your favorite old person for some advice today in honor of this blog post.  And remember that they've been where you are now and are impressively valuable even if they can't get out of bed.  And try not to be so afraid of people "moving away" because it's not really as bad as you may think it is unless you think you'll never see them again.  That would definitely be grounds for a bad attitude.