Today I’ve been thinking about how making changes in the way I do things changes the way I feel, think, and look.  When I was a teenager and in college I subscribed to the popular adage: it’s what’s inside that counts.  I think I felt it was necessary for me think that way because of my sometimes negative feelings about my outside.  I commendably worked hard at academics, read a lot, talked to people, and improved my mind as much as possible because that’s what counts.  I maintained appropriate hygeine habits, but paid little to no attention to my clothes, make-up, or hair.  I spent little to no time on exercise and never dieted at all.  I’m embarrassed to say that I sometimes proudly thought less of my “pretty” friends who cared about making their bodies more beautiful.  Part of that was jealousy, but part of it was me thinking I was really better than them because I focused on what mattered and didn’t “waste time” on frivolity that didn’t really improve the part of them that really counts–the mind.

Colin was a big part of my first realization that I’d been wrong.  We’d known each other for a while when he suggested that I have my hair cut.  I was shocked that he’d make a suggestion, apparently implying that my appearance was less than adequate.  I promptly told him that my hair was fine the way it was (long, left uncut for about two years, formerly cut only by my mother, and always in a ponytail).  He countered that he knew it was fine the way it was, but that he thought I’d enjoy it because having a new haircut often gives you a new outlook and improves confidence.  I told him that my confidence was fine, I didn’t need a new outlook because I was happy the way I was, and that  a new haircut surely wouldn’t change me inside and therefore wouldn’t be useful the way he suggested it would.  Eventually he dropped the subject, but it made me think.  Next time one of my roommates went to the salon, I went with her, insisting untruthfully to myself and everyone else that it had nothing to do with him or what he’d said.

I came out of that salon feeling (and looking) like a new woman.  I looked pretty, put-together, and intentional.  I realized then that Colin was right.  Doing something to improve your outside changes your inside, sometimes in essential ways.  The inside isn’t the only thing that counts.  I was right that I was “fine” or “okay” the way I was before the haircut, but I was better inside and out for having done something to improve my body and my presentation of my body.  Surprisingly, I could actually think and speak more clearly after having maintained part of my body.  It was truly a revelation for me.

I’ve re-visited that idea lately as I’ve accepted the Ponytail Challenge and exercised and worked harder to care for my body.  The person I call “I” is not exclusively my mind, nor is it exclusively my body.  “I” am both, and they affect each other.  Each time I do something for one, I do something for the other.  If I focus on improving one while I neglect the other, something about me (inside and out) will always suffer.  God gave me the gift of an active mind and a healthy body and I have stewardship over both.  Do I stop reading so that I can spend all my time curling my hair?  Of course not.  Do I spend all my time reading and neglect my diet, exercise, and leave my hair disheveled?  Sometimes, but I feel, think, and look better when I balance both.

Today I’ve been thinking about how making changes in the way I do things changes the way I feel, think, and look.  When I was a teenager and in college I subscribed to the popular adage: it’s what’s inside that counts.  I think I felt it was necessary for me think that way because of my sometimes negative feelings about my outside.  I commendably worked hard at academics, read a lot, talked to people, and improved my mind as much as possible because that’s what counts.  I maintained appropriate hygeine habits, but paid little to no attention to my clothes, make-up, or hair.  I spent little to no time on exercise and never dieted at all.  I’m embarrassed to say that I sometimes proudly thought less of my “pretty” friends who cared about making their bodies more beautiful.  Part of that was jealousy, but part of it was me thinking I was really better than them because I focused on what mattered and didn’t “waste time” on frivolity that didn’t really improve the part of them that really counts–the mind.

Colin was a big part of my first realization that I’d been wrong.  We’d known each other for a while when he suggested that I have my hair cut.  I was shocked that he’d make a suggestion, apparently implying that my appearance was less than adequate.  I promptly told him that my hair was fine the way it was (long, left uncut for about two years, formerly cut only by my mother, and always in a ponytail).  He countered that he knew it was fine the way it was, but that he thought I’d enjoy it because having a new haircut often gives you a new outlook and improves confidence.  I told him that my confidence was fine, I didn’t need a new outlook because I was happy the way I was, and that  a new haircut surely wouldn’t change me inside and therefore wouldn’t be useful the way he suggested it would.  Eventually he dropped the subject, but it made me think.  Next time one of my roommates went to the salon, I went with her, insisting untruthfully to myself and everyone else that it had nothing to do with him or what he’d said.

I came out of that salon feeling (and looking) like a new woman.  I looked pretty, put-together, and intentional.  I realized then that Colin was right.  Doing something to improve your outside changes your inside, sometimes in essential ways.  The inside isn’t the only thing that counts.  I was right that I was “fine” or “okay” the way I was before the haircut, but I was better inside and out for having done something to improve my body and my presentation of my body.  Surprisingly, I could actually think and speak more clearly after having maintained part of my body.  It was truly a revelation for me.

I’ve re-visited that idea lately as I’ve accepted the Ponytail Challenge and exercised and worked harder to care for my body.  The person I call “I” is not exclusively my mind, nor is it exclusively my body.  “I” am both, and they affect each other.  Each time I do something for one, I do something for the other.  If I focus on improving one while I neglect the other, something about me (inside and out) will always suffer.  God gave me the gift of an active mind and a healthy body and I have stewardship over both.  Do I stop reading so that I can spend all my time curling my hair?  Of course not.  Do I spend all my time reading and neglect my diet, exercise, and leave my hair disheveled?  Sometimes, but I feel, think, and look better when I balance both.

Colin set up the tent and put the LuvSac inside and the electric blanket on top of that, then plugged in the blanket.  It was snowing a little bit and pretty cold and the kids have runny noses, so we decided they should sleep inside and we put them to bed.  Then we went out to the tent with the baby monitor and fell asleep for about an hour before I woke up worried about the kids (what if Degen wakes up and starts looking for us and we don't hear him?) and we went inside.  The tent was actually pretty comfortable and the outside air smelled so good. 

I think we'll wait till it warms up a little more again and then take the kids and actually sleep outside for a night or two soon.  If that goes well, we'll go for a real campout at a campground!  We both love camping but haven't gone much since we got married and I'm excited to take the kids out.  Degen's just at the age where he would both love camping and hardly be able to sleep anywhere but in his bed after taking a bath.  So we'll work into it slowly.