In the past, I’ve checked my spam queue to make sure that it wasn’t filtering out real comments, and occassionally I’d find one and I’d be glad I skimmed through them.  However, now that I’m getting so many (and some of them are really nasty!), I think I’m going to stop that.  So, if you don’t see your comment published within a day or two of posting it, it’s probably because my spam filter thought you were one of the bad guys.  Don’t be mad, it’s just a computer.   One sure way to get caught in the spam filter is to put lots of links in your comments, so avoid doing that unless you’ve made a lot of comments under that name before.

I love all your “real” comments, so keep ‘em coming!

That said, I haven’t yet figured out how, when, or if it’s best for me to respond to the comments I receive.  Do I respond again with a comment?  Do I email a response?  Do I just read and enjoy the comment and let it go at that?  I don’t want to clutter up the comments section with MORE writing from me, because I’m afraid that’s a little too controling and verbose.  A blog isn’t really supposed to be a discussion board, is it?  I’m imagining the following “blog post, comment from reader, response from me, comment from reader, response, comment, etc.”  Wouldn’t that be a little pretentious?  But sometimes someone asks a question or leaves a comment I just can’t leave unanswered, and I add another comment myself.  Maybe I should write another post answering the question?  I’m still not sure about the etiquette and protocol for this venue.

As for leaving comments on other blogs, I try to do it rarely and usually only if I feel I can really add to the conversation.  It’s kind of strange that I do that since I like to get comments so much myself.  When I comment on someone else’s blog it feels like I’m writing notes in the margins of a copy of a book I borrowed from someone else knowing that the author of the book will also see all my notes.  Again, it comes down to feeling self-conscious about cluttering someone else’s space (whether the author’s or the other readers’) with my writing.  In fact, when I write comments I find myself getting embarrassed about writing too much in a comment and thinking about just sending an email instead.  Do you think most bloggers want comments for validation, no matter the value of the comment to the subject of the post, or do you think they want to get only content-related comments?   I like to get both types of comments on my blog.

I wonder if my comment-leaving habits stem from how I feel about reading comments on other blogs.  I read the comments to find out about the reactions of other readers to a post, to avoid duplicating content in my own comments on the post, and to glean additonal information on a topic.  While the “this is a great blog!” comments are pleasant and could certainly be much worse, there is no content in them to keep me reading.  It doesn’t add to the conversation.  I skim past them hoping that someone else will say something more useful or relevant.  I like to see that other people enjoy what I enjoy, but beyond that it’s valuable to me.

So, if I were writing for a reader like me, does that mean I shouldn’t publish the cheerleading-type comments I receive on my blog?  I don’t think so, unless a post gets a HUGE number of comments.  Doing so would alientate even more readers by making them feel that their comments were unappreciated or inappropriate, which is not the case.  It’s better to read comments of others that aren’t of great value to me than to fear rejection of my own comment.

Beyond my emotional issues with leaving comments, there’s the RSS factor that keeps me from commenting.  Most blogs I follow I read through an RSS feed on Google Reader.  I don’t actually click on to most blog posts at all.  I just read them, enjoy them, and move along.  If I were on the site itself, I think I would leave more comments than I do now.  Assuming most people who read my blog are in the same boat as I am as a reader, if I really wanted to increase the interactiveness of my blog maybe I should change my RSS feed to only include excerpts of each post so that a reader would have to come to my actual site to read the complete post.  But I’m guessing that would decrease my readership volume, which for one reason or another I like to be as big as possible.  I myself rarely follow blogs that have excerpted RSS feeds, and wouldn’t like to do that to my readers either.

I’m sure you’ve all noticed that I have NO inhibitions about writing long posts on my own blog, despite my concerns about writing long comments on someone else’s blog.  I guess if you keep coming back you like it, or at least you don’t mind.  It’s exciting when I occassionally discover that someone likes my blog enough to put me on their blogroll even when I’ve never heard from them.  Thanks to all of you who comment on my blog and to all those readers out there browsing silently (but harmlessly).  I hope I make your day a little better or your load a little lighter with my writing.

Besides my reservations about the name in particular, I just happen to have a somewhat restless personality and I like to switch things up once in a while.  I think it would be fun to have a new name for my blog just to refresh my perspective. 

I haven’t got a name in mind yet, so feel free to recommend one (or more) and I’ll definitely consider it.  As you see here, I like to blog as a sort of journal of my day-to-day doings, as a newsletter of what the kids are doing with out-of-town friends and family, to share tips I discover to help others who are trying to do similar things, to express my opinon, to share my testimony of the gospel, to store reference materials for myself (like my FHE plan, my list of links to date ideas, and links to my friends and the local extension office), and as a creative outlet. 

You are all forewarned of the impending change, whatever it may be!

The hostess’ home was beautiful, warm, and welcoming, and I knew most of the people there from church so it was all really comfortable.  The shower was held for one of our Primary teachers who’d just recently had a baby, and it was great to see her and congratulate her for the first time since she’d been off on “maternity leave.”  We didn’t get to see the baby, for obvious reasons, but I’m excited to see him when they come back to church for the first time in a couple of weeks. 

We played two “games” while we ate and chatted away.  I put the word “games” in quotation marks because they weren’t actually games, but they were entertaining, organized interactions.  The first was something that I’ve never experienced before, and I’m guessing I may never experience again.  The hostess asked us each to enter a small bathroom off the entry of the home, close the door, stay inside for a minute, and then come out and not say anything to anyone else until we’d all done it.  Each person came out with a curious look on their face, and when it came to my turn I was very interested in what lay ahead.  I went over a few scenarios in my head–would there be a joke behind the door?  would the lights automatically turn off?  I simply couldn’t think of anything feasible.  Anyway, as I went inside I noticed that all the walls were mirrored, then I closed the door and realized that the entire room (except for the ceiling) was covered in mirrors.  My first reaction was “wow, so this is what people feel like on that TV show What Not to Wear when they go inside the 360 degree mirror.”  My second reaction was of incredible peace.  There was a candle burning (it’s a good thing I didn’t have to stay there long or my allergies may have kicked in), and everything that wasn’t mirrored was some version of cream or white.  I sat down and considered myself in the mirrors and watched myself repeating again and again in the mirrors facing each other and was surprised to feel happy and loved instead of self-conscious.  It was a really cool experience.  I left the room and silently returned to my seat.

The last person in was allowed to react audibly, and she wasn’t necessarily excited about the room.  Several of the other ladies joked and commented about how horrifying it was to go in there.  Someone mentioned that it would be a great place to meditate.  The hostess explained that her husband had loved the all-white and heavily mirrored atmosphere of one of the temples so much that they decided to try to duplicate the effect in a small space.  It sounded from her comments like she gets only enthusiastic responses to it–people who love it or hate it.    Anyway, it was a great conversation starter and I thought to myself how fun it would be to have such a room and then listen for reactions when visitors saw it for the first time.

The other “game” involved each of us telling the group about a little-known fact about ourselves.  I thought of a bunch of facts about myself once I really sat down and concentrated, but I ended up telling the group that I have a blog.  They asked me for the address, and this morning it was really fun to find a couple of comments from my local friends on my blog.  Welcome ladies!  Several of the other guests at the party told me about their blogs, and I’ve been visiting those this afternoon.  It’s awesome to get to know people in this format–Colin said that he thinks he’s going to tell the Elder’s Quorum about his new idea to ask their Home Teaching families if they blog because he thinks that would help them get to know each other better.  Not a bad idea for Visiting Teachers either, actually. 

Our ride home was uneventful, though a little rainy.  When I got home Colin had been fighting a losing battle for a half hour trying to get Degen to bed, and was happy to turn that task over to me.  I wish I knew why Degen won’t go to bed for him…

The hostess’ home was beautiful, warm, and welcoming, and I knew most of the people there from church so it was all really comfortable.  The shower was held for one of our Primary teachers who’d just recently had a baby, and it was great to see her and congratulate her for the first time since she’d been off on “maternity leave.”  We didn’t get to see the baby, for obvious reasons, but I’m excited to see him when they come back to church for the first time in a couple of weeks. 

We played two “games” while we ate and chatted away.  I put the word “games” in quotation marks because they weren’t actually games, but they were entertaining, organized interactions.  The first was something that I’ve never experienced before, and I’m guessing I may never experience again.  The hostess asked us each to enter a small bathroom off the entry of the home, close the door, stay inside for a minute, and then come out and not say anything to anyone else until we’d all done it.  Each person came out with a curious look on their face, and when it came to my turn I was very interested in what lay ahead.  I went over a few scenarios in my head–would there be a joke behind the door?  would the lights automatically turn off?  I simply couldn’t think of anything feasible.  Anyway, as I went inside I noticed that all the walls were mirrored, then I closed the door and realized that the entire room (except for the ceiling) was covered in mirrors.  My first reaction was “wow, so this is what people feel like on that TV show What Not to Wear when they go inside the 360 degree mirror.”  My second reaction was of incredible peace.  There was a candle burning (it’s a good thing I didn’t have to stay there long or my allergies may have kicked in), and everything that wasn’t mirrored was some version of cream or white.  I sat down and considered myself in the mirrors and watched myself repeating again and again in the mirrors facing each other and was surprised to feel happy and loved instead of self-conscious.  It was a really cool experience.  I left the room and silently returned to my seat.

The last person in was allowed to react audibly, and she wasn’t necessarily excited about the room.  Several of the other ladies joked and commented about how horrifying it was to go in there.  Someone mentioned that it would be a great place to meditate.  The hostess explained that her husband had loved the all-white and heavily mirrored atmosphere of one of the temples so much that they decided to try to duplicate the effect in a small space.  It sounded from her comments like she gets only enthusiastic responses to it–people who love it or hate it.    Anyway, it was a great conversation starter and I thought to myself how fun it would be to have such a room and then listen for reactions when visitors saw it for the first time.

The other “game” involved each of us telling the group about a little-known fact about ourselves.  I thought of a bunch of facts about myself once I really sat down and concentrated, but I ended up telling the group that I have a blog.  They asked me for the address, and this morning it was really fun to find a couple of comments from my local friends on my blog.  Welcome ladies!  Several of the other guests at the party told me about their blogs, and I’ve been visiting those this afternoon.  It’s awesome to get to know people in this format–Colin said that he thinks he’s going to tell the Elder’s Quorum about his new idea to ask their Home Teaching families if they blog because he thinks that would help them get to know each other better.  Not a bad idea for Visiting Teachers either, actually. 

Our ride home was uneventful, though a little rainy.  When I got home Colin had been fighting a losing battle for a half hour trying to get Degen to bed, and was happy to turn that task over to me.  I wish I knew why Degen won’t go to bed for him…

• Jan 11-ish, our dedicated server went down in California.  Whilst we had a RAID to mirror everything, apparently it went down too, and that took us a few days to diagnose remotely…
• Jan 17-ish, we signed up for professional hosting, all on 8-core servers.  We like our host, everything’s great and fast, but then…
• January 19, apparently someone being hosted was hosting something illegal–hacker stuff, not porn–but knocking the whole company off the grid.  Our host basically gets in trouble with his datacenter (the big top secret server farm).  He resurrects everything full-speed, except, as we find out, our websites were physically on the same machine as the illegal one, so our 20 websites are taken hostage by the datacenter.  I guess it’s a little like when you give a kid a cell phone, and invariably your first month’s bill is $600 and you’re paralyzed until they condescend to waive it.
• January 22ish, the host gives up on the 24/7 support of his datacenter and gives us a new, clean account on another unrelated server at another unrelated datacenter.  Dual-processor, but not 8-core, which may or may not be good actually… But no access to our sites until the situation is resolved, which should be momentarily.
• February 4, most of our sites still have static placeholders, having no access to their databases.  We finally put up bethanyjensen.com just so Bethany has a place to go.  We don’t blame our host at all–a bigger host could have swooped in with their lawyers and had the thing solved on day one, but that’s contingent on a bigger host doing anything at all, which is less likely.  With a small host, I could IM the owner daily and get reports, which is nice…  End of day, we have $8 hosting (total, for all 20 sites).  I dunno’.  But we’re waiting and waiting for our sites.  I won’t mention our host’s name, since people will read this negatively.  If I knew it, however, I’d mention the datacenter, since they may deserve some retribution.