Gratitude for something I don’t have
Jul 9th, 2008 by Bethany
You may have noticed that I get to feeling pretty sorry for myself when I’m feeling nauseous or when I don’t want to deal with blood sugar issues. Today I had a little push in the gratitude direction.
This morning I got a call from a nurse at Kaiser. As I mentioned yesterday, I assumed it was a call with the exciting news that I’d failed my gestational diabetes screening and would have to take another test. But this nurse, who said she had my lab results, began by saying she had good news! All I could think was “What in the world? What good news could they call about from the lab?” She told me with enthusiastic delight that I do NOT have HIV! I’m thinking “Ummmm…good. Why did you think I might have HIV?”
Now, I am blessed to be in a situation where I’ve never been concerned about whether I have HIV. It’s never even occurred to me that I might have HIV. I don’t think I’ve ever been tested before. It was a rather confusing surprise to have someone announce to me with excitement and even some relief in her voice that I don’t have HIV.
Then I recalled that I’d had a bunch of blood work done at my prenatal appointment, and that probably automatically included an HIV test. She was going on about how I should be tested again in six months to be totally sure, but that this test was a good sign, and that I’m very lucky. I couldn’t help but interrupt her to explain that I’d never thought I might have HIV and that it was part of a prenatal bloodwork panel the doctor had ordered for me. She stopped, congratulated me on my pregnancy, and seemed a bit disappointed that I wasn’t as enthusiastically pleased as she about my test results. I thanked her and said something like “I never thought I had it, but I guess it’s a good thing to know I don’t.” She replied seriously, “Yes dear, it’s a very, very good thing that you don’t have HIV.” And we pleasantly ended the phone call.
It made me think of what a hard job she must have, calling people who are worried about contracting such a horrible virus and informing them of their fate. She probably sits on the phone trying to comfort people all day, with few encouraging facts to share with them.
It also made me think, a few minutes later, that I am blessed to not be worried about something like having HIV. My complaints are all temporary, relatively fleeting things that I know will probably go away eventually and have good treatment options. I am confident in my husband’s past, present, and future faithfulness to me and mine to him. What is a little morning sickness and gestational diabetes (which come with the blessing of a baby in the end) to the alternative of HIV and some of the things that would put me at risk of having it?
It’s nice to get good news when you’re expecting bad news. And it’s good to have another thing to be grateful for.