It’s not just the inside that matters
Apr 17th, 2008 by Bethany
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In college I took a class where we talked about how our bodies and minds are connected. Sounds obvious, right? Your mind tells your body what to do, and it does it. Your body sends signals to your mind to tell it what’s going on in the world and your mind makes decisions about how to deal with it, if at all. The deeper part came when we discussed how the way we think can literally change the chemical reactions in our bodies, and therefore change the way our bodies are, the way they act and respond to stimuli. And we can consciously change our bodies to help change our thoughts. For example, you can exercise to get your body/mind to release endorphins to help you have a positive outlook on life, or you can have a positive outlook on life which helps your body release endorphins which helps you want to exercise. So, your body and mind can literally change each other. Our main, and somewhat life-changing, text was called Molecules of Emotion and although it took me a long time to finish reading it (it’s got a few passages of rather technical, but understandable, scientific language) I have a different way of looking at myself because of it. Thank you for your class Dr. Lockhart!!!
Today I’ve been thinking about how making changes in the way I do things changes the way I feel, think, and look. When I was a teenager and in college I subscribed to the popular adage: it’s what’s inside that counts. I think I felt it was necessary for me think that way because of my sometimes negative feelings about my outside. I commendably worked hard at academics, read a lot, talked to people, and improved my mind as much as possible because that’s what counts. I maintained appropriate hygeine habits, but paid little to no attention to my clothes, make-up, or hair. I spent little to no time on exercise and never dieted at all. I’m embarrassed to say that I sometimes proudly thought less of my “pretty” friends who cared about making their bodies more beautiful. Part of that was jealousy, but part of it was me thinking I was really better than them because I focused on what mattered and didn’t “waste time” on frivolity that didn’t really improve the part of them that really counts–the mind.
Colin was a big part of my first realization that I’d been wrong. We’d known each other for a while when he suggested that I have my hair cut. I was shocked that he’d make a suggestion, apparently implying that my appearance was less than adequate. I promptly told him that my hair was fine the way it was (long, left uncut for about two years, formerly cut only by my mother, and always in a ponytail). He countered that he knew it was fine the way it was, but that he thought I’d enjoy it because having a new haircut often gives you a new outlook and improves confidence. I told him that my confidence was fine, I didn’t need a new outlook because I was happy the way I was, and that a new haircut surely wouldn’t change me inside and therefore wouldn’t be useful the way he suggested it would. Eventually he dropped the subject, but it made me think. Next time one of my roommates went to the salon, I went with her, insisting untruthfully to myself and everyone else that it had nothing to do with him or what he’d said.
I came out of that salon feeling (and looking) like a new woman. I looked pretty, put-together, and intentional. I realized then that Colin was right. Doing something to improve your outside changes your inside, sometimes in essential ways. The inside isn’t the only thing that counts. I was right that I was “fine” or “okay” the way I was before the haircut, but I was better inside and out for having done something to improve my body and my presentation of my body. Surprisingly, I could actually think and speak more clearly after having maintained part of my body. It was truly a revelation for me.
I’ve re-visited that idea lately as I’ve accepted the Ponytail Challenge and exercised and worked harder to care for my body. The person I call “I” is not exclusively my mind, nor is it exclusively my body. “I” am both, and they affect each other. Each time I do something for one, I do something for the other. If I focus on improving one while I neglect the other, something about me (inside and out) will always suffer. God gave me the gift of an active mind and a healthy body and I have stewardship over both. Do I stop reading so that I can spend all my time curling my hair? Of course not. Do I spend all my time reading and neglect my diet, exercise, and leave my hair disheveled? Sometimes, but I feel, think, and look better when I balance both.
