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It was probably around the time I started dating Colin that I started crying. I don’t mean that in causitive way–Colin very rarely is the reason for my tears and I have no idea why my propensity to cry increased around the time I met him. And I’m not talking just tears or sadness, either. I never used to cry when I felt the Holy Ghost, or when something sad happened, or when something happy happened. Now I cry at all three, plus I cry when I’m angry, tired, hungry, or sometimes even when I’m excited. It’s like something inside me switched on the waterworks and never switched all the way off and the tears just come unexpectedly.
I bring this up because when I teach Sharing Time I try to share my testimony with the kids, and when I do that I cry. Like today, I was talking about Jesus and the atonement and my eyes welled up and I could feel my face get red and I could hardly finish my lesson. In fact, I forgot to give the last part of the lesson because I was crying. Not only was it embarrassing and counterproductive, I think it scared a couple of the kids a little and I had to tell them I wasn’t crying because of sadness and I could tell some of them just didn’t get that. How could I tell? One of them said “well, it doesn’t look like you’re not sad!” It’s not like I was bawling or sobbing, but I did get choked up and it was hard for the kids to understand.
I certainly don’t want to suggest that feeling the Spirit, or even crying in general, is something to be ashamed of, but it does bother me that I’m not in control of myself enough to keep my crying from becoming counterproductive. So what do you do when you cry more than you want to? Is there a method for slowing down or controlling crying? Or maybe just switching to a different physical reaction/outlet?
