Wife Like Me

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This morning I woke up feeling really good and happy and ready to get to work.  I’m sorry to say that waking up that way has been the exception for me for a few weeks.  It’s been harder than usual lately for me to get out of bed energetically, to be cheerful for any stretch of time, or to do anything that seems worthwhile.  But last night and this morning are different and I feel great. 

Last night after he got home from work I asked Colin to do something we haven’t tried before: take the kids out for a couple of hours while I stayed home.  It occurred to me yesterday that part of my problem with cleaning is that when I’m doing something that’s hard for me I get really focused and hate to be interrupted.  For example, once when I was about 12 years old my dad took me to work for a “Bring your daughter to work” day, and he sat me down in his office for about an hour with some typing to do while he went to a meeting or something.  While I was working on my typing project, a man came over and started chatting with me.  I knew he was someone who worked with my dad, but I didn’t know who he was and I couldn’t figure out why he was interrupting me while I was trying to work and get this project done before my dad came back.  I answered his questions kind of tersely while I worked, thinking to myself “Doesn’t he have any work to do?  He’s kind of a slacker, isn’t he?”  After a few minutes, he went away.  When my dad came back, I told him about what had happened and Dad kind of smiled and asked why I hadn’t been more friendly.  I told him ”I was working!” and asked why that guy kept bugging me.  It turned out that the guy was Dad’s boss or a partner in the business or something like that and he was just trying to let me know he was happy I was there and I’d totally blown him off.  I was embarrassed, and I’ve since improved my social skills, but it’s a good example of my gut reaction when I’m focused and working and I get interrupted.

Recognizing this in myself, I thought about all of the times I start making dinner or cleaning a bathroom or mopping the kitchen and one of the kids comes to me needing attention.  Sometimes my reaction to them is similiar to my reaction to the guy at dad’s work: “Won’t you please go away so I can finish my project?”  Usually this happens when it’s something that it’s hard for me to start in the first place and that I just want to get finished so I don’t have to think about it anymore.  So, my idea was to get everyone out of the house for a couple of hours so I could get some of the hard stuff done uninterrupted.  I don’t think this had EVER happened before–me, by myself, in the house, with a couple of hours to clean up.  I’ve been out of the house alone to have fun, and Colin and I have gone placed together, but pretty much when I’m home the kids are home.  And that means that if I want to do something uninterrupted I have to do it during naptime or after the kids go to sleep (and cut into my time alone with Colin). 

So, last night Colin took the kids out to a dollar movie while I stayed home to clean.  You wouldn’t believe all the work I got done!  The laundry, the dishes, the kitchen counters and floor, the bathrooms, the toys all put away, my bedroom cleaned.  It was awesome!  And by the time everyone came home I felt great!  And Colin, as usual, praised me for my work.  Then he proceeded to make dinner and put Maggie to bed.  This morning I woke up knowing that my room was relatively clean (at least liveable, with less than half of the clutter I awoke to yesterday) and I could open my eyes without dread of my future tasks and the futility of trying to complete them. 

Another thing we did last night for the first time was pop in the Book of Mormon stories DVD and watch a few segments with Degen.  The spirit in our home was different because we were listening to scripture stories.  I admit I’ve been lax in my personal scripture study lately, which I’m sure has contributed to my bad attitude.  Having the scriptures playing in my home while I folded laundry with Degen (he took the folded piles of laundry to his Dad, who put them away) changed my perspective and helped me relax and quit worrying about all the things I have no control over. 

Yesterday I did my exercise video, and again today!  I think I’d like to get more exercise videos sometime–I have a pre/post natal yoga video, but I’d like to get a regular one and maybe a kick boxing one like Tae Bo (I used to do that one with my roommates and love it) and maybe a dancing one sometime.  It feels great to have exercised three days in a row!  It’s hard to feel sorry for myself when I’ve got endorphins trying to make me happy.  Besides, the knowledge that I’ve accomplished something worthwhile and measurable today really makes me feel good. 

I’m going to try to find a counter of some sort to put on my blog so that I can measure my exercising (and maybe my other measurable accomplishments, too) over time.  I think that having some sort of accountability, even if it’s only my blog, would help motivate me when I’m not in the mood to do it.  I think it’s really weird that when I’m in a bad mood, the last thing I want to do is something I KNOW would help me get in a good mood. 

So, three things that put me in a good mood and helped me get out of bed cheerfully this morning: a clean(er) house, the scriptures, and exercise.