I've been thinking about spirals lately. Not about those colorful little toys you hang on your porch that twist in the wind, but the "upward spiral" or "downward spiral" kind. Hmmm…have you ever noticed that the word "downward" has a wnw in it? That's kind of weird. Anyway, it occurred to me this morning that most things we do contribute to an upward spiral or a downward spiral, even little things.
If I wake up in the morning and immediately make my bed, it then follows naturally to fluff the pillows or to pick up the stuff on the floor around the bed, which then leads to me vacuuming the floor. Or, if I'm in the kitchen and I do the dishes, I then automatically want to wash off the counters, which then leads to sweeping the floor. On a spiritual note, if I read my scriptures, I then want to pray, then I feel the Spirit and am prompted to serve others. When I play with my kids I see how happy they are and want to think of more ways to make them happy. These are all upward spirals that contribute to living happily.
Downward spirals seem to be easier to get into, but harder to get out of. If I wake up and leave the bed unmade, it's easier to not get dressed, and that leads to me sitting around in my PJs all day watching TV. If I leave the dishes unwashed, I don't clean the counters, I don't sweep the floor, then I don't want to go into the kitchen, then I don't cook, then we eat less-than-great food. If I don't read my scriptures, then I'm not in tune to the spirit so I don't want to pray, and so I don't get the guidance and strength I need to do good things, then I start feeling bad about myself because I don't do good things, then I don't want to read my scriptures or say prayers even more than before. If I tell a lie, then I want to hide my lie, then I want to avoid the people I told the lie to, then my relationships deteriorate.
Spirals seem to create an energy that perpetuates them. If I get into a downward spiral, it takes an enormous amount of energy to break out of it, and the farther down I go the harder it is to go up. Maybe like gravity. If I get into an upward spiral, there's an energy created that encourages me to keep it up, to try the next good thing. But it's not as hard to stop an upward spiral as a downward one. Both types of spirals seem to require more of me as I get farther in either direction, but the upward ones make me happier as I go up and the downward ones make me more unhappy as I get farther down.
I guess you could call these spirals habits or addictions. It occurs to me that repentance requires getting those upward spirals going so well that there's no time or space for the downward ones. That's why it's good to read your scriptures even when it's Isaiah and you don't understand what's going on, or to say your prayers even when you don't feel like it, or to do the dishes every night after dinner, or to make your bed as soon as you get up.
Sometimes when I'm depressed or discouraged I kind of have to trick myself into starting an upward spiral activity. When I'm far enough down a spiral it's common to feel that I have no energy to do anything good. But if I can do something really small that starts an upward spiral, then I can get one going almost without thinking about it or doing anything. So I say that I'll just unload the dishwasher or just read one verse in the scriptures or that I'll just clean the mirrors and not the whole bathroom. But once I get started it's easy to keep going without even thinking about it. I guess that's why people talk about doing baby steps.
So, next time I complain about something or seem down, just suggest that I go do one tiny thing that's good, and if you can convince me to do it then I'm sure it'll help (even if I protest at the time that it's unrelated to my "real" problems).