Write something like a man
Apr 2nd, 2007 by Colin
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When she said, "write something like a man," my reflex was to tease the Borgesian zeugma of her phrase, because "like" is the most loaded word in there. Go read that "circular ruins" short story if you weren't freaked out by that last sentence. I'm Colin, and I'm guest-posting because… because I'm bored and I wanted the computer.
"So," she says, "write something that'll get me traffic." Oh, it's like that, is it? Someone yell "priestcraft" and someone else "you sold out to the man!" Naw, but I can do the traffic thing. I can write about "Blades of Glory" (Jon Heder & Will Ferrel's new movie) or the Transformers movie. We haven't seen Happy Feet, but I'd bet people who weren't watching Priesthood Session were all home watching that. I can write about Hayden Panettiere or Gwen Stefani or Allegra Versace, Cesar Chavez or the XBox 360 Elite. Even The Discovery Channel. All those things shall give her website experience, and shall be for its gain.
But there are a bunch of manly things I'd rather write about. For as much as I hate the "usability" of all things Macintosh, the two things that could possibly move me to iTunes have come to pass. First, I have an iPod, and proprietary Pete says I gotsa' use the man's software to use the man's machine. But second, I hereby compliment Steve Jobs for spending his philanthropic monies not on expanding alternative forms of pseudo-government, but on solving much bigger issues–by signing a contract to sell non-DRM'ed music! Finally, the RIAA and its satanic minions will die. Oh, my, my, how they will die. Die die die. I'm really a happy, loving, spiritual guy; but when Hollywood declares open war on everyone who likes art, I just have to lay down the law (like most people, by laying down in front of the bullying bulldozers of ridiculous lawsuits. Hint, for any reader who thinks suiing people is a way of asserting your rights or protecting the public–you're a pawn.) Oh, the pun, that "write something like a man" could turn into "write about Steve Jobs," because he's "like a man."
I like Jeeves & Wooster, too. We sat and schooled Brityn Willis & fam on it the other day. Fabulous show. Hugh Laurie and Stephen Frye. Oh, and I like last.fm, which will be the other savior of music for anyone under age "Boomer." I've recently gotten into Roger Cicero (Sinatrish jazz, both smooth and German, if such is possible.) Oh, and Polyphonic Spree.
