Wife Like Me

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I am not good at washing dishes, vacuuming, or doing laundry. I’m one of those people whose natural reflex is to ignore my housework until I can’t stand it anymore, then wait some more because I’m ovewhelmed, then wait till I have a whole day to work on it, then spend a whole day making it “perfect,” then decide I hate it and ignore my housework again until I can’t stand it anymore. One day about three years ago I decided there had to be a way to teach myself to do it a better way and keep things reasonably clean, since I’m certainly not stupid and people less motivated and intelligent than I (and more busy than I) seemed to be able to do it. So I started googling–I think I began with a search on “how to wash dishes.” Eventually I came upon the site that changed my life: www.flylady.net.

Flylady’s real name is Marla Cilley and Flylady was her screename once upon a time because she was a fly-fishing instructor. She had trouble keeping her house and life clean and oranized for years before she finally discovered some techniques (and attitudes) that helped her, and now she mentors others online in those techniques.

Flylady has two main things going on–a web page and a Yahoo group. Flylady’s site was sort of uncomfortable to navigate at first, but included completely invaluable information. Her group is one where she sends out reminders and essays of encouragement, teaching people like me how to enjoy taking on the challenge of keeping their life in order without crashing and burning. When you sign up for her email list, you get about a dozen emails a day giving you pleasant instructions and reminders like “Where’s your laundry?” and “Where are your shoes?” and “Time to go to bed!” It may sound like these things are obvious and simple, but the execution is hard to not procrastinate. So the reminders work. Her web page is mostly a collection of essays on how to teach yourself to enjoy doing what you do, as well as a number of places to report what you’ve been doing (e.g. enter the number of minutes you spent exercising today) as a gold-star-like motivational technique. I’ve found it all very useful, but I also find it difficult to explain why it’s helpful to people who haven’t tried it.

Flylady has two books out. A few years ago she wrote Sink Reflections (which I have read and love) all about how to learn to keep your home clean and organized. You can get most of it on her web site, but it’s a better-organized version and a handy way of having the information on-hand if your internet connection isn’t reliable. Her other book is a recent New York Times bestseller, Body Clutter (which I haven’t read yet). I’ve heard it’s a hugely popular discussion of our attitudes about our bodies and how to learn to be healthy.

So, check out her books, her site, and sign up for her group. Thanks to Flylady for helping me to have a better attitude and a cleaner home!